Think You Know The Snarkers?

Conundrums to Guess

Here’s you chance to prove how well you do. Listed below are six questions with six sets of very distinct answers. The challenge here is to match the answers to the appropriate snarker – good luck!!

The Snarkers

Baker * Beaver * Bellman * Billiard * Boots * Butcher


  1. Why do you write about what you write about?
  2. If you became the leader of your country (ie. President, Prime Minister) what is the first change that you would make?
  3. If you were to get a tattoo would would it be? If you have one, what is it? Where is it?
  4. Other than Toasted Cheese, list three other web sites that you frequently visit.
  5. Which of the seven dwarves would you be?
  6. Which would you most like to have:
    1. your picture on a stamp
    2. your statue in a park
    3. a college named after you
    4. a Nobel Prize
    5. a national holiday in your honor

Answer Set # 1

  1. It’s easier for me to write deep than write shallow. Or maybe I just like being obtuse. Either way, I like the freedom of fiction, plus I think that fiction often gets closer to truth than non-fiction does.
  2. I’d remove all reference to foreign monarchs and questionable deities in oaths of office and citizenship, etc.
  3. Fire.
  4. Google, Salon, IMDb
  5. In the past I would’ve said Sleepy. Now I’m thinking I’m more of a Grumpy.
  6. A Nobel Prize

Answer Set # 2

  1. Because I’m highly disturbed. Also because in my self-importance I think I have something to say.
  2. I would declare myself “dictator for life.”
  3. An arrow. Probably on the hipbone or thereabouts. There’s also that celtic cross on the back I’ve considered that creeps everyone out.
  4. Not “frequently,” since that would give me away but favorites nonetheless: The Onion,
    Emotion Eric, Pandora’s Box
  5. Grumpy. Get out of my way, shorty.
  6. a Nobel Prize

Answer Set # 3

  1. Because it comes naturally to me – it’s something I can do easily, and I can do well.
  2. I’d want to do something that would be reflective of my gender, either by increasing funding to help abused women or ease the battle against abortion.
  3. Maybe my name, spelt in chinese letters, at the base of my spine.
  4. M-W, HBO, All Recipes
  5. Happy
  6. c) The college

Answer Set # 4

  1. Because it’s there.
  2. If I were a president, I wouldn’t have to make change, I could put it all on the White House account.
  3. Tattoo would be on Fantasy Island, of course. (De plane! De plane!)
  4. There are other websites??
  5. Snuffy.
  6. Not a), since you have to be dead for a). Maybe not e) either, dunno the rules for that one. You can live and get the others, though. b) would cost you money unless you were dead. e) would cost you BIG money. I guess that leaves d) which would result in your getting money, and you are allowed to be alive to spend it.

Answer Set # 5

  1. Because I get to use all of my creative abilities. Everything and anything I’ve ever dreamed up can go in them. My past, my perceived future, my present, whatever.
  2. Raise the dollar limit for social programs so that the people that live on the fringe of “have” and “have not” can get the care and attention they deserve.
  3. I don’t have one, but I’d like to get the astrological symbol for Aries on the left side of my neck. I kind of also want the symbol for Libra on my wrist.
  4. No Noun-Sense, Gamesville, and Zigire
  5. Happy.
  6. A national holiday. I’d love to be thanked that many times by that many people.

Answer Set #6

  1. I often find myself inspired by real life. The things I end up writing about are the things that I just can’t NOT write about!
  2. Mandatory afternoon siestas. : )
  3. I do have one…which surprises a lot of people! It’s a violet, on my lower back.
  4. I’m afraid I haven’t been doing much surfing lately…
  5. Sleepy. ; )
  6. c. a college named after you

Answers after the jump.

Answers to Think You Know The Snarkers?

  1. Beaver
  2. Baker
  3. Butcher
  4. Bellman
  5. Boots
  6. Billiard
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