Just Show It

A Pen In Each Hand

By Bellman

Consider this paragraph where Pip, in Great Expectations by Charles Dickens, is describing how his hands were burnt in a fire:

My hands had been dressed twice or thrice in the night, and again in the morning. My left arm was a good deal burned to the elbow, and, less severely, as high as the shoulder; it was very painful, but the flames had set in that direction, and I felt thankful it was no worse. My right hand was not so badly burnt but that I could move the fingers. It was bandaged, of course, but much less inconveniently than my left hand and arm; those I carried in a sling; and I could only wear my coat like a cloak, loose over my shoulders and fastened at the neck. My hair had been caught by the fire, but not my head or face.

Rewrite this scene so it shows Pip’s pain rather than just telling us about it. Try to appeal to as many senses as you can.

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