Member Site of the Month: Mister Queue

Conundrums to Guess

TC: Describe yourself (or your site) in five single words.

Mr. Q: Eeney Meeney Miney Moe Curly

TC: Tell us about your first website.

Mr. Q: It was absolutely horrid. One page with pictures and words back in 94/95. You just kept scrolling down for more delight!!! (Do not fear the sarcasm) Also, it probably contained < BLINK > tags.

TC: What’s the last word or phrase you did a search on?

Mr. Q: I don’t know if it would be proper to post such a thing at TC, I might offend ana’s delicate sensibilities; let’s just say it included cattle prods.

TC: Do you hand-code your pages or use a program?

Mr. Q: I hand code the basics, but the site is run through Scoop, so it jumbles the whole mess together for me and makes a much nicer little bow for the gift that is my insanity.

TC: What’s your favorite form of potato?

Mr. Q: Potate…. barring that, Yukon Gold.. just because it makes me feel like a miner 49er.

TC: Describe the perfect pizza.

Mr. Q: One that would do the dishes and give you sweet sweet lovin’ all night long… barring that, it should contain garlic and pepperoni.

TC: Name your poison.

Mr. Q: Okay… I name it Q, because if it’s my poison, I’d want no one else to die of it. Then I’d probably draw one of those adorable skull and crossbone sets on it. Also, if I could somehow rig it so that the bottle bubbled “suspiciously” and gave off smoke whenever you opened the cap that would be great thanks!

TC: What’s the last creative writing you’ve done?

Mr. Q: An awful bit of awful… it needs major major editing… which I’m not so good at… thanks for bringing up a painful topic by the way.

TC: What are three essential things in your writing space?

Mr. Q: Writing space? Is that in Einsteinian theory? Essential? Um… keyboard and rum I guess.

TC: Tell us about one of the first things you remember writing.

Mr. Q: It was a masterpiece. It took me nearly all afternoon, but I finally got it down on paper for all the world to glimpse till the end of time. As I stood back, admiring my genius I noted the thick black crayon work that said “Airplane”… I think I was 4… maybe 3… I dunno… am I answering these correctly? There’s no guidelines here… it’s chaos man… utter chaos… where’s my hidden pencil?

TC: Who was the first person to encourage your writing?

Mr. Q: When they start doing so I’ll let you know. Some misguided fools have said they wanted to see more.. do you see them around any more? No! Connection? I think so. Now about that hidden pencil.

TC: Describe your current mood in one word.

Mr. Q: Pencil… hrm… or… hidden

TC: What one thing is guaranteed you laugh?

Mr. Q: If I say the truth everyone who reads this will think me a horrible horrible person… let’s just say I have a very dark sense of humor… and a strange one at that.

TC: What was the greatest invention of the 20th century?

Mr. Q: Hidden pencils.

TC: What is your favorite word? What is your least favorite word?

Mr. Q: Favorite: Saturnine, Least Favorite: blog

TC: What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? What turns you off?

Mr. Q: Part: The Emotional:

Turn-ons: Walks on the beach, corndogs, clowns… (that’s not true except for the clowns bit)

Turn-offs: Rude people, bad breath, hidden pencils, bland people (that’s not true except for the bland people part)

Part: The Creative:

Turn-ons: Change, Driving, Liquor

Turn-offs: Stagnation, John Fucking Updike, Liquor

I have no spiritual turn-ons or offs as I haven’t the spirtual… rather long story I’m afraid and though it’s full of danger and hidden pencils, I shan’t be telling it today.

TC: What is your favorite curse word?

Mr. Q: fuckmonkey… or fuckstick… actually anything that has fuck and another word attached amuses me… the same could be said for ass… as in asshat… or asspencil

TC: What sound or noise do you love? What sound or noise do you hate?

Mr. Q: Love: Sighs and groans of a lover. Hate: Sounds of a baby doing ANYthing

TC: What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? What profession would you not like to do?

Mr. Q: Hrm… I think it would be fun to be Inspector 37… he seems to like checking out my pants, so that’s gotta be a sweet gig… What not to do? Anything that involves me being waist-deep in mewling human spawn day in day out… I have nightmares that start like that… and dreams that end with me eating them.

TC: If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Mr. Q: “Hi, I’m not a deity, as there isn’t one, just a democratically elected representative in our perfect democracy up here. I’d just like to welcome you in, elections for next week’s heaven president start Monday and you’re welcome to run. The library contains all the questions you didn’t think of asking but no answers and the bar is completely free.”

TC: Where do you call home? Are you there now, and if not, where are you?

Mr. Q: I call home from a telephone usually. I’m not at a telephone but I could get to one if you liked.. why do you want me to call home so badly? Did my mom get in touch with you somehow? Is she in trouble? Is timmy down a well again?

Mr. Q: In conclusion, I’d just like to say a couple final words: hidden pencil.

Mister Queue’s site:

:: mister queue ::

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